PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
