You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
