I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no more duck duck goose at the bar
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize