I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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