just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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