There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
