Plan B is the new Plan A
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
