a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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