she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
