Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
