Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize