I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize