yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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