wrigley field is MILF paradise
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
