All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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