On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
