I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
