Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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