Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize