i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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