Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...

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  (205): I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand... http://tfl.nu/3a2z
  Replies (8) Good night (1864) Bad night (716)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I wanna passion pit in your ass

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  (386): I wanna passion pit in your ass http://tfl.nu/pjsj
  Replies (27) Good night (796) Bad night (1877)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore

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  (703): i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore http://tfl.nu/70pj
  Replies (32) Good night (3100) Bad night (954)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

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  (609): I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry http://tfl.nu/vmjm
  Replies (10) Good night (910) Bad night (4660)
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  (707): View more from California

  Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.

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  (707): Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive. http://tfl.nu/ly82
  Replies (6) Good night (3262) Bad night (1115)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.

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  (360): Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised. http://tfl.nu/xha6
  Replies (45) Good night (2070) Bad night (4001)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.

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  (515): She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped. http://tfl.nu/qksr
  Replies (6) Good night (4345) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations

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  (+61): We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations http://tfl.nu/f57w
  Replies (8) Good night (1779) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours

  (301): View more from Maryland

  ........yyyyyyeah that's me

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  (814): There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours (301): ........yyyyyyeah that's me http://tfl.nu/xtm1
  Replies (4) Good night (1585) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...

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  (314): He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on. (636): Sounds like he's doing this for your own good... http://tfl.nu/dn1j
  Replies (3) Good night (1676) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am

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  (832): My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am http://tfl.nu/1emj
  Replies (7) Good night (879) Bad night (1591)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them

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  (617): Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them http://tfl.nu/p251
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.

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  (775): My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock. http://tfl.nu/3cuy
  Replies (10) Good night (1409) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything

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  (519): You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything http://tfl.nu/69w4
  Replies (0) Good night (562) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.

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  (316): He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me. http://tfl.nu/8ei9
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (381)

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