Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.

Fav 12 3080 1011
share tweet
(818): View more from California

My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.

Fav 38 1836 3872
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.

Fav 26 4621 1123
share tweet
(417): View more from Missouri

Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.

Fav 13 1258 5071
share tweet
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(520): View more from Arizona

Clearly I made an impression.

(404): View more from Georgia

Or at least your vagina did.

Fav 9 5128 1254
share tweet
(504): View more from Louisiana

I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

Fav 10 4260 1365
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(830): View more from Texas

Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.

Fav 10 4798 1346
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."

(404): View more from Georgia

That's how I look going for the pbr.

Fav 11 1185 565
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(205): View more from Alabama

you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone

Fav 1 85 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT