i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
