Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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