So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.