happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.