Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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