thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
