These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize