what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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