ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
