If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
