Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
