so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
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I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
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The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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