I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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