This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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