this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
