Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
