So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I enjoy the company of your penis
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
