he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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