btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
