It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
