so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
