dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
