If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
