Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
