did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
