i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
