be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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