Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
