After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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