Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
