I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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