Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
