p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
