brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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