I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
