Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
