Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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