i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
