Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize